Understand their style!
Good communication is the key to a successful relationship in all areas of our life. The work of a leader is mostly done through conversations. It’s very important for leaders to be able to get their message across. An effective communicator gets heard & understood.
Have you ever wondered why it is very easy to communicate with some people? Ideas flow easily and are understood. There is a comfortable exchange of thoughts and things get done. However, there are other people with whom the communication is more difficult. We need to repeat our message several times, and even then we are not sure that we have been understood.
I have found one strategy that makes communication much easier: understanding the other person’s communication style and adapting to it.
According to Neurolingistic Programming (NLP), there are three human primary modes that people use to process thoughts during communication and learning. They are Visual, Auditory and Kinesthetic. Each of us has a preferred mode, which we use as our primary form to convey messages during communication. Understanding the preferred mode of the person you are speaking with, is the first step to become a better communicator.
Visual communicators
They understand better when they see a visual representation. You can recognize them because the often use expressions like:
- Do you see what I mean?
- Let’s look at it differently
- See how this works for you
To communicate with them, you can use similar expressions in your conversation. Also, using diagrams, charts and pictures helps them understand better.
Auditory communicators
They like to listen to lectures, stories and anecdotes. They use expressions like:
- Listen to me
- That sounds about right
- Does it ring a bell?
To communicate with them, use words that relate to sound in your conversation. Also, describing examples and telling stories works very well to get your point across.
Kinesthetic communicators
They need to include physical activities and “hands-on” tasks to learn and communicate. They often use expressions related to feelings and actions, like:
- Does this feel right to you?
- My gut is telling me…
- I cannot get my head around this
Use similar expressions when talking to them, describe the actions that you are expecting, and mention feelings whenever possible.
It isn’t about changing what you say but how you say it.
When preparing a conversation, writing emails, or making a presentation, take a moment to think about the communication style of your audience. Communicating with these different senses in mind will help you reach and engage your team more effectively.
