Establish a No Complaining rule!
Most of us complain once in a while. Complaining is tempting because it feels good and it’s contagious. When you join someone in their complaining conversation you feel a sense of belonging. Regular complainers usually complain to get attention and sympathy.
The objective is not to stop people from expressing their opinions, but to redirect them in the way they express their views. To have a good climate within the team and a productive environment, it’s is useful to set boundaries within your team about complaining.
In his book “The No Complaining Rule”, Jon Gordon proposes positive ways to deal with complainers and negativity at work. This is his powerful proposal on how to implement the No Complaining Rule:
“Employees are not allowed to mindlessly complain to their coworkers. If they have a problem or complaint about their job, their company, their customer, or anything else, they are encouraged to bring the issue to their manager or someone who is in a position to address the complaint. However, the employees must share one or two possible solutions to their complaint as well.”
By applying this rule in your team, on one hand you allow the complainers to share their opinion and describe what they see as a problem. And on the other hand, you are inviting them to be part of the solution. The key is that the complaint has to include a proposal for actions to solve or mitigate the problem.
Since human beings are inherently social, we tend to mimic the moods and attitudes of those around us. This allows us to be empathic but it can also make the negativity of a whiner spread like wildfire. Complainers want the people around them to join their pity party. That is why I encourage you to set rules about complaining as soon as you get to lead a team.
“Every complaint represents an opportunity to turn a negative into a positive.” – Jon Gordon
It is also very useful to examine yourself. Are you a complainer? Do you have the habit of sharing your negative opinions with whomever wants to listen to you? It’s usually easier to do that than to go directly to the person that can solve the problem and make a request to them. If your team notices that behavior in you, they will think that it’s acceptable and follow suit.
Don’t be a complainer: Go on a complaining diet – commit to spend a full day without complaining.
I invite you to experience a no-complaining-day. It will cause you to pay attention to your thoughts before you express them. I assure you that it’s quite enlightening. It’s amazing the amount of useless negativity that constantly crosses our mind.
By establishing regular no-complaining days we teach our brain evaluate the negative and how to turn it into a positive. I know that it sounds cliché, but every problem can present an opportunity.
As I recommend in this article, you can stop yourself from making negative comments by asking these two questions:
- How is this comment adding value?
- Is this comment getting me closer to meeting my goals?
When you decide to stop complaining you will get into the habit of expressing your opinion while offering potential solutions, thus adding value to the conversation and becoming part of the answer.
Are you ready to move your career to the next level? Consider working with me.
With my 33 years of experience as a leader in global corporations and coaching knowledge, l can help you discover your strengths, develop an influential leadership style and define and achieve ambitious goals with your team.
The support that I offer can be as simple as a one-time video call to discuss a specific situation, or a more prolonged relationship where I am your trusted counselor.
