Analyze the past!
When we worry, we allow our mind to dwell on difficulties or problems, real or imaginary. I find that it’s impossible for me to worry and be productive at the same time. Worry paralyzes me. I go around in circles and don’t accomplish much of anything.
Some of the most unproductive hours I have ever experienced were hours preceding important meetings. I would ruminate about all the things that could go wrong, worrying endlessly. As a result, I was paralyzed and unable to do anything productive until the time of the meeting. I was not even able to work on preparation to ensure success.
“My life has been full of terrible misfortunes most of which never happened”. – Michel de Montaigne
This happened often when I was in graduate school. Twice a year I had to give presentations about the progress on my PhD work. During the meeting I would explain to my academic adviser, my industry sponsor and a small group of experts the results of my research. The meetings were always in the afternoon because some of the attendees were from out of town. Those mornings before the meetings were totally unproductive. I was consumed with worry and paralyzed by fear. I was so tired of feeling so helpless, that one time I decided to just cook to calm my nerves and stop thinking about it. Spending the whole morning preparing eclairs was probably not the best use of my time. At least I brought them to the meeting…
Don’t worry, I am not suggesting eclairs as a solution…
To stop worrying and become more productive I started to analyze my thoughts before the meeting. I wrote down all my worries and catastrophic scenarios, and contrasted them against what had actually happened in previous meetings. I realized that Montaigne was right, most of the terrible situations that I created in my head never happened.
Write down your worries. Talk back to them. Are they realistic?
The practice of actually contrasting my fears with reality helped me overcome the paralysis before the meetings. I also used this technique to calm my anxiety and stop worrying.
And yes, sometimes the meetings were not as good as I would have hoped. But I learned to accept that it was ok. I was able to save the situation. I convinced myself that I was resourceful and could recover from mistakes and setbacks. Nobody was expecting perfection.
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